A Story
A couple of months ago, I was in Vancouver for a tango weekend.
It wasn’t the usual tango scene where men lead and women follow. Here, many women were also leading — including me.
I’ve spent most of my tango years as a follower, where a key skill for this improvised dance is listening — listening to the leader’s subtle signals and intentions, often before a single step is taken.
But this time, as I stepped into the leader’s role, I learned something new: leaders must also listen to their followers. A lot.
Tango and Leadership
As a leader in tango, listening means (besides the essential listening to the music):
Communicating your intention before taking a step.
Waiting until your partner’s step lands before moving forward.
Adjusting your invitation to match your partner’s skill level.
Adapting in the moment if your partner hears the music differently and moves in an unexpected way.
Tango is not about force. It’s about inviting — through small shifts, pauses, and gestures. It’s about listening — not just with your ears, but with your full presence.
Leadership, too, works like this: a continuous flow of inviting, listening, and responding — a rhythm you co-create with your team.
Listening in Leadership
Leaders can listen in countless ways. For example:
When delegating, listen for each team member’s unique skills and interests, so you can invite them into the right work.
When following up, listen for how much or how little guidance they need, and adjust your cadence and approach.
When holding accountability, invite them to co-create what success looks like, with clear metrics and shared responsibility.
When celebrating, listen for what makes them feel truly seen — some love the spotlight, others prefer a private acknowledgement.
These are just a few examples. If you’re attuned to the cues, listening can happen in every leadership moment.
Reflections:
In what ways do you listen to your people as you lead?
What other ways would you suggest leaders can listen more deeply?
